I need to know whether what I did was right or wrong.

[p. SharpShooter50]

I know this is long, but please take the time to read it, I am really confused and I need help.


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Okay, I really need to know whether I'm right or wrong here, if what I did was right or wrong.

Okay, so I'm pretty much going to tell you what happened between me and my dad.

About 2 and 1/2 weeks ago, me and my brother found out that we were in a

Spanish 4 AP class together. He's a Senior, I'm a Sophomore. Now I don't

know if this goes just for me, but wouldn't you feel awkward having your

brother in your class? Wouldn't it feel weird? Well, for me it did so I took it

upon myself to fucking switch classes. (I haven't switched classes yet) So I

get my schedule and go up to him and ask him, "Nick, how do you switch

classes? I wanna switch my Spanish 4 AP class and I don't know how." He

didn't answer me, I asked him again and he responded with a, "Fuck you and

get the fuck out of here," response. So I said to myself, "Whatever, fuck you

too then," and left. Then I went downstairs and I went to go ask my mom

how to switch classes, she asked me why I wanted to and I said that it felt

awkward being with my brother and I just didn't wanna be in that weird

situation. Then my dad walks in the kitchen and asks why I want to switch

out, I said the same thing I said to my mom and he was like, "Okay, we're

going to have a talk with Nick about this." I answered, "No, I don't want to

talk to him." He said, "Yes, you're going to talk to him whether you like it or

not." I said, "No, you're not going to force me to do anything, I'm not going

to talk to him." Then he said, "Don't talk back to me," and I said, "I can talk

whenever I want." Then he said, "Do you want me to hit you?" I said, "Go

ahead, do it," I only said that because I knew he was bluffing, I knew my

dad wouldn't hurt me, he's not that kind of person. Then he said, "You will

not disrespect me like that in my house, go to your room." I started heading

up to my room and he started pushing me, I said "Don't push me," and he

kept doing it, I was going to punch him in the face but I held myself back

and went up to my room. FOR SOME FUCKING WEIRD ASS REASON I went

upstairs to take a shower instead of go into my room and I started reading

OPERA!!!! I was like WTF. It was actually quite interesting haha. Then my

dad comes upstairs to talk to me because I know he felt bad for what he did,

but I was wrong, he came upstairs to fucking enforce and remind me that he

is the owner of the house and I am going to have to respect him. When he

told me that I was just nodding my head left to right indicating no. Then he

said, "Okay, if you're not going to respect me, get the fuck out of my

house." So I did, and I said shit to him as I left. I stayed outside for about 5

hours, until 4 AM. I had school the next day but I was like fuck it, I'm not

going to go. My whole family and my friends were looking for me the whole

night. The thing is that I never ventured more than 100 feet from my house,

I went to the community pool that was at least 1 minute away from my

house (walking). I was in the bathroom that they had in the clubhouse the

whole time. My mom finally found me and I hugged her and we both started

crying. I saw my dad walking up the hill that goes down to my old school and

he said, "Federico come here." I said, "Fuck you you piece of shit mother

fucker. I hope you die." I walked home crying, I took a shower, went to sleep

and went to school the same day.


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The reason why this all started was because I didn't want to talk to my brother, I was mad at him because of the way he treated me. If you're asking yourself why he treated me like that, I don't know, I didn't do anything to him the days prior to the day I asked him. So I don't know.

My dad, or anyone else, is not going to force me to do something that I don't want to do. I didn't want to talk to my brother, my dad was going to make me talk to someone that I didn't want to talk to and that's how this whole conflict began.

Now my question to you is, WAS I WRONG IN NOT WANTING TO TALK TO MY BROTHER?

Here is how I view it, you have the choice of wanting to, or not wanting to do something. Like I had a choice in wanting to, or not wanting to talk to my brother.

For example, if your dad says that you HAVE TO respect him, you don't, it is YOUR CHOICE whether you want to respect him or don't want to respect him.

Anything that isn't the law you have a choice in. You can choose to break the law, or follow it and not break it. But, if you do break the law, you aren't the one with the choice in what your punishment will be.

You make your own decisions, no one can force you to do something.

I respect my dad in many things like, working more hours than he has to so he can bring more money to the house, I respect him for being there for me, for being my dad, for being a, sometimes, fair man.

I love him, and yes, that is a decision, I admire him for what he does. I love my mom, I respect her for raising me, for giving me food, for taking me to school and so many more things that both my parents have done for me. Bottom line is that everyone has a choice, in mostly anything. I choose to love my parents because of all of the things they have done for me, putting us first before them in ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING and much more.

The point to this thread is, was I wrong in how I reacted and what I did? Please give me advice and suggestions.

Thank you, so much, for taking the time to read this thread, I know it's long but I am really confused and I just feel guilty and I don't know what to do with myself.

Sincerely, Sharpshooter50.

[e. sephirunt]

i think ur both at fault. Yes you disrespected your dad, but your dad didn't listen to you at all. You should've just shut up, but your dad should've also listened to why you did not want to talk to your brother. you could say, 'let me please explain why i do not want to talk to my brother' or something like that.

Your parents pay for your living and therefore what they say goes. When you move out, you should still listen to what they tell you to do, but you only have to follow their advice if you think you should.

I suppose it would be a good idea to apologize to your dad, but say that you were very angry and was not thinking reasonably.

[p. Jordlez]

Never swear to your parents.

[p. SharpShooter50]

Jordlez, you don't know my parents.

Your parents pay for your living and therefore what they say goes.

I don't follow that. They have a choice of whether or not to pay for my living, and yes, they do and I respect that, A LOT. Even if they are my parents, whatever they say I will either agree or disagree with. If they don't like it well then too bad. I don't see parents as the ALL KNOWING people. I don't see us having to respect them because they are our parents. We choose to respect them.

But I see them as my parents, yes, but also as equal individuals, like every single human being on this planet. Therefore, they being equal to us should mean that they can't dictate how we live our lives and they can't dictate our choices.

When you move out, you should still listen to what they tell you to do, but you only have to follow their advice if you think you should.

That I do agree with.

[@ Flamerokz]

What you did being "wrong" or "right" is all a matter of perspective. It depends on what you think is ethically or morally correct, and don't let anyone make you think otherwise.

If you want my opinion (which I'm guessing is the purpose of making this thread in the first place), I would first want to find out why your brother made that reaction when you asked him about switching classes.

You weren't "right" or "wrong" in not wanting to talk to your brother. It's just like how someone isn't "right" or "wrong" in wanting not go to their teacher for extra help after school.

Were you "right" or "wrong" in how you reacted and what you did? It depends what you were trying to accomplish. If you were trying to switch Spanish classes then you probably could have used better methods to achieve that, since in the end, you haven't accomplished that task yet anyway.

If you feel guilty about what you did, then deep down inside, you must think you were wrong, at least you must have done something that went against your real beliefs to make you feel that way.

This is my perspective however, and I do hope that you will only interpret it as such.

EDIT:

Never swear to your parents.

No one ever made a law on when you can and can't use words (Well there may be, but let's just say in most places) (Please note that this is different from what is "socially acceptable")

[e. aDonkey]

what im thinking is why would u feel uncomfortable with being in same class as ur bro.... i wuda thought ur bro wud feel uncomfortable but yeah i wuda talked it thru wif ur bro first

[p. SharpShooter50]

I know my brother better than most, I know he felt the same way.

And I forgot to state that he dropped Spanish 4 AP because it didn't count towards his credit.

To Flame, I don't know what happened with my brother. I know what I said about switching classes didn't hurt him because he also wanted to switch classes. He might have had a bad day at school or something bad happened to make him react that way. It's okay, I'm not even mad at him though.

what im thinking is why would u feel uncomfortable with being in same class as ur bro.... i wuda thought ur bro wud feel uncomfortable but yeah i wuda talked it thru wif ur bro first

I'm sorry but you completely contradicted your statement.

Edit 1:

Flame, what I thought I did was right. I didn't want to talk to my brother and he wasn't going to force me. He was very wrong in thinking that he was going to force me to do something I didn't want to do.

I don't know, if you could give me your opinion on whether I was right or wrong that would be great. Any other people's ideas/advice/suggestions would be great also.

Edit 2:

Why did you edit my previous post?

[p. roberthoangt]

umm i had spanish 1 with my brother i was a sophmore and he was a freshie there is nothing bad. PLUS its bonding time while at school and you can copy homework

[e. aDonkey]

O.o mebe i didnt explain it properly... i meant that why would you feel uncomfortable being in ur bros class? usually its the other way around??? older bro feeling stupid when younger bro is in exact same class

[@ Flamerokz]

Edit 2:

Why did you edit my previous post?

You made a double-post and I merged it.

Flame, what I thought I did was right. I didn't want to talk to my brother and he wasn't going to force me. He was very wrong in thinking that he was going to force me to do something I didn't want to do.

By "he" do you refer to your brother or your dad?